emotion

i am sick and tired of being underappreciated and dealt with without respect. i shall no longer settle for less and if all i'm ever going to get is that, then i'm off and you can find your own way out of the tunnel. i'm sure things may be able to go on fine but at least my burden is off my shoulders. i have prayed and it has helped a lot but it hasn't cured all wounds.
i cannot act like i wasn't hurt. i cannot act like i don't care. i cannot act as you act because i am not a fake person. i am not the type who goes up to people i dislike and offer them hugs nor the type who compliments the person i dislike in front of the person.
maybe you do not know what you did. may be you think i'm being selfish but if you actually cared enough to ask, i deserve a lot more self pity and this would be a big story if i let it out.
but am i going to? no. coz despite what i am, i am a friend. call me irresponsible. call me heartless. call me inconsiderate.
oh well, i didn't do what you did and act i like i'm all innocent. know what? i have been sucking it up for the last few months acting like nothing much has hit me and actually a huge asteroid came down on me and basically crushed so many things in my life. my trust for you. my faith in you. my love for you. my good thoughts of you.
you know what? i give up. i give up on you. on hoping that we would patch things up. is this the end? probably. probably not. depends on how God is going to steer my life next if i ever land up on the same path as you, well i'll figure it out then and if he never does, i'll see how it goes.
it just sucks coz you were one of those people who i thought would be side by side with me till the end. one of those who would help me out no matter what. one of those who would cheer me up when i am down. one of those who would always, always be the one holding my hand through the thick and the thin.
maybe i expected too much. maybe you just aren't capable of such things. maybe you read this and go "sam's so emo" maybe you go "sam's just exaggerating things" but you know what? this is how i see things and if we don't see eye to eye, there isn't a point to this anymore.
-sam